Yamaguchi's Birthday Surprise
by Star-freckles
Summary: Yamaguchi is feeling down. His friends know about his self-harming. They decide to throw him the best birthday party ever, but does it turn out they way they were hoping? Or does everything go wrong?
1. Chapter 1

They had found out about his self-harming a few days ago. Ennoshita had seen the marks while he was changing after practice. It was obvious Yamaguchi Tadashi was becoming depressed. He became more distant to everyone, even a bit to Tsukishima. The whole team was worried but they thought it would be better not to mention it, not yet anyway.

Yamaguchi's birthday would be coming up soon. He would be 16. They didn't want to bring up something so heavy right before his birthday.

So the rest of the team began to make a plan...

•••~•••

Ever since starting his second year, Tadashi had been picked on. He wasn't sure why, but he had gotten moved to a different class so now he and Tsukki weren't in the same class anymore. It was almost like elementary school all over again; people teasing him for his freckles, his aloneness, his pushover-pathetic personality, even volleyball. Sometimes they cornered him and stole any money he happened to have on him. Other times, they would just give him a word at how bad he was at volleyball, how he should just quit and go die.

About three weeks into the semester, he started self harming, something he had considered, but never done before. He began to hate himself for everything, every mistake he made. Now, every harsh word from Tsukishima hurt just a little bit more. Every mess-up at practice was just a little more off-putting.

"Nice receive!" Ennoshita called across the court to Kageyama.

"That makes five! Next! Yamaguchi!"

Ennoshita became the captain after the third years had graduated. Yamaguchi walked onto the court and got into position for receives.

The ball flew at him and he swung his arms but missed by an inch.

_Shit_.

If he couldn't even get the first one right how was he going to get any? The self-deprecating thoughts were starting to mull through his mind again, at the worst times too, like always.

"Don't mind, try again!"

Another ball. This time, he hit it nicely, surprising only himself. He had improved a lot in volleyball but still didn't think very highly of himself.

•••~•••

"Yamaguchi, hurry up. I want to leave." Tsukishima nagged. Lately, Tsukishima had been asking Yamaguchi to walk home with him instead of the other way around. Around the time he had started to self harm, he had begun to tell Tsukishima to just walk home without him. He wouldn't tell why, but it was so he could redo the bandages on his arms. He would be beyond humiliated if anyone from the team saw how weak he was.

"Sorry Tsukki!" Yamaguchi replied in his normal tone, grabbing his bag and jogging to meet Tsukishima at the door. They began walking down the sidewalk in the direction of their houses.

"Hey." Tsukishima said suddenly.

"Yes tsukki?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday."

Of course it was. Did he think Yamaguchi was so stupid that he didn't know this?

"Yes, it is." Yamaguchi replied matter of factly.

"Meet me tomorrow at Tanaka's house at 4." Tsukishima said, slightly commanding. This was sudden.

"W-why?"

"He's having a party and wants you to come." Tsukki's voice was as emotionless as ever. Did Tanaka really want him to come?

"O-oh. Okay, sure!"

They walked the rest of the way home in silence. Tsukishima congratulated himself in his mind for asking Yamaguchi to his own birthday party so smoothly.

They got to their usual parting point where they split ways.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi called as he walked towards his house. He distantly heard Tsukishima grunt in answer behind him.

The sun was setting as he dragged his feet home. The sky was washed in a cascade of reds and pinks and yellows. But somehow the beautiful sunset didn't affect his mood. Sadness echoed through his chest. He wasn't sure why he felt so sad and awful as he walked through the front door, mumbling a quick "I'm home".

"Welcome home Tadashi!" His mother called from the kitchen. He dragged his feet all the way up the stairs to his room and collapsed on the bed after throwing his school bag on the ground.

Echoing in his mind were the words that were said to him that day at lunch.

_"Hey, it's Tadashi. Still in that volleyball club!" One of his classmates called as he gathered the things on his desk. _

_"Yes." He's answered quietly. _

_"Seriously?" Asked another. _

_"Why? You suck!" _

_"I'm surprised they haven't kicked you off the team."_

_"Do you even try?"_

_"Please stop I'm need to meet my friend for lunch." Yamaguchi said, standing up. The leader of the little group that liked to gang up on him shoved him harshly back into his seat. _

_"Come on. Is he really your friend?"_

_"Maybe he just acts like he likes you."_

_"You're probably just a bother to him."_

_"He knows you're pathetic, he just puts up with it because he feels bad for you."_

Tadashi is vaguely aware that he's gotten up off the bed and is walking.

_"That's not true." Yamaguchi argued, his voice not sounding as confident as he would like. _

_"How would you know? It's not like he would tell you if he thought that."_

_Yamaguchi started to think about this. The way Tsukishima always told him to shut up, how he often put on his headphones and ignored Yamaguchi, how, even when they hung out, his attitude seemed cold. He hated himself, but he began to wonder if what they were saying was true. If it was all true._

He saw his reflection in the mirror as he picked up the blade and slowly brought it to his wrist.

_Yamaguchi didn't want to deal with these guys anymore. _

_"I'm going. Now." He said, standing up again. They tried to hold him back but he pulled himself away and ran out of the classroom, hearing them call taunts and jeers after him. _

_"Pay attention to how that friend of yours acts. It'll prove what I said about him!" One of them called as Yamaguchi ran down the hallway. _

_No. No no no. Tsukki was his friend. He didn't hate Yamaguchi, surely. Did Tsukki really just put up his him because he pitied him? Now that he thought about it, Tsukki had never actually asked to be friends. Yamaguchi had just started following the blond around after he had been saved from bullying. Maybe he really was just a burden. _

_"Yamaguchi, shut up."_

_"Why do you try so hard?"_

_"It's just a club."_

_"Seriously, Yamaguchi?"_

_"Stupid."_

_**"Pathetic."**_

Blood dripped onto the floor. Red, bleeding marks bore their way into Yamaguchi's arm, almost up to the crease in his elbow. There was a little pool of blood on the floor. Yamaguchi was finally pulled out of the flashback of earlier that day. He felt the pain in his arm, but at the same time, didn't.

He realized tears were on his face and quickly wiped them off. He was exhausted. He threw the blade across the bathroom, not caring where it went, and pulled himself into a ball. He hated himself, so much. Gosh, he was just pathetic.

Distantly hearing his mother calling him for dinner, he stood up shakily, wiping away more tears. After glaring at the freckles on his face in his reflection, he quickly cleaned off his arm and wrapped a bandage around it. He pulled on a sweater and made sure it didn't look like he was crying before trudging down the stairs to dinner.


	2. Chapter 2

Sorry for the confusion everyone! I hope this helps!

The next morning, Tadashi awoke to an ache in his wrist where he had cut it the day before. He groggily got out of bed and dragged himself to the bathroom where he began to change his bandages. But in his dazed state of I-just-woke-up, he decided he didn't really want to deal with the bandages and just took them off. His parents weren't home so it's not like there was gonna be anyone around to judge him.

Tadashi spent the entirety of his day laying around and either sleeping, reading, or watching tv. He ate a little but he just didn't feel very hungry.

When three-o-clock finally rolled around, he began to get dressed, pulling on a pair of dark skinny jeans that were just slightly baggy on him. He was about to put on his favorite t-shirt when he remembered the cuts. He didn't want anyone at Tanaka's party to see them so he pulled on a dark purple knit sweater instead. He tried to comb his hair a little in vain and tried to make it look like he was actually happy to be going to the party, rather than looking like he wanted to die in his sleep.

He walked out the door, fist slipping on a pair of gray canvas shoes, and was met with warm sunshine and a light breeze.

•••~•••

When he got to Tanaka's house, he saw Tsukishima waiting outside for him. Yamaguchi opened his mouth to call out but Tsukki beat him to it.

"Oi, Yamaguchi!" He called. Tadashi jogged to the place where the blond stood.

"Tsukki, why are you waiting out here?" Asked the brunette, a confused look on his face. A light pink dusted itself across Tsukishima's upper cheekbones.

"I wasn't sure if you knew where his house was." Tsukki mumbled. "Come on let's go in." They walked up to the door together and, maybe he was just imagining things, but Tsukki seemed

To shake the door handle slightly before turning it and opening the door. Yamaguchi was startled when he was met with darkness.

"Um... T-Tsukki? Where is everyone?" He asked nervously.

"In the basement." He replied curtly.

_Tanaka's house has a basement? _Yamaguchi thought.

No more that four steps into the dim

house, the light suddenly flashed on as confetti poured from above. A bunch of people jumped out suddenly as well, all shouting the same thing:

"Happy birthday Yamaguchi!"

The natural response would have been to smile and thank everyone, but Yamaguchi only needed to register people suddenly jumping at him for a reaction to take place. A high-pitched squeal (he wasn't proud of) exited his mouth as he immediately clung to Tsukishima.

Unfortunately, it only took him a few seconds to realize his mistake and he turned red with embarrassment, covering his face with his hands after looking at all the people gathered around him. Everyone from the club was there. He felt an arm on his shoulder, heard a light laugh in his ear.

"Sorry Yamaguchi! It was supposed to be a surprise not meant to scare you, hahaha!" Suga said at his side.

"You-you're all here for... My birthday?" Yamaguchi asked incredulously. He couldn't even fathom anyone caring about him enough to throw him a_ birthday party_.

"Yeah! It was Tsukishima's idea!" Noya shouted from the crowd. Tadashi turned to look at Tsukki, who actually looked like he was kind of trying to smile. A big grin broke out on Tadashi's face.

"Thanks Tsukki!" He said to Tsukishima, then thanking the rest of the room of people. The party got started. Turns out Tanaka doesn't actually have a basement. Pizza was brought out to eat and music played loudly while everyone ate and drank and sang karaoke.

"Hey look what I managed to get!" Tanaka shouted loudly, walking amidst the noise carrying a box.

He heard Daichi groan and Suga gasp.

"Tanaka! What do you think you're doing with that?" Suga shouted angrily. Upon closer inspection, Yamaguchi realized it was beer.

"Come on! It's a party! It's only for tonight, Suga, let us have a little fun! Please?" Tanaka and Nishinoya begged. Suga face-palmed.

"Ugh. Fine. But you'll be responsible for anything that goes wrong." He warned. Tanaka gave a loud victory yell and started passing out drinks.

Yamaguchi sat on the couch by Tsukishima, very closely. He liked it. They were squashed side by side, close enough for Yamaguchi to place his head on Tsukki's shoulder. Oh how he wanted to.

With a beer in his hand he knew he maybe shouldn't drink (but would end up doing anyway) and Hinata and Noya battling it out on the karaoke machine, Yamaguchi knew this was going to be a crazy, long party.


	3. Chapter 3

By his second beer, Yamaguchi was more than a little tipsy. He had never drank in his life, it was a given that he would be a lightweight drinker. He stumbled around the room for Tsukishima, who had disappears a little while ago, to get him to play truth or dare with Hinata, Kageyama, and Ennoshita. Somehow the room seemed emptier than it had started out.

"Tsukki?" He called, slightly sing-song. The alchohol was making his head buzz and his limbs heavy. He felt off balance as he walked into a hallway he had never seen before. The lighting was dim but he could see a door at the end and decided he would look for Tsukki in there. He opened the door but didn't get a chance to see inside because he was pushed back out the door by someone.

"Sorry Yamaguchi, you can't see what's in here right now!" Said an unrecognizeable voice before the door snapped shut. He frowned, feeling hurt. He walked back to the living room only to find Hinata sitting in Kageyama's lap and Ennoshita asleep on the couch. And Tadashi felt suddenly alone and sad. He didn't understand why but it was probably his depression. He just wanted to be alone but not alone at the same time. He walked outside, intending to just get some fresh air. He looked up at the stars, shining brightly, far away. He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve anything, friends, a party just for him. He doesn't deserve it. He's just pathetic and useless and ugly and sad. At least to himself. Yamaguchi sits on the ground (more like falls on his butt) and rolls up his sleeve, looking at the marks he made the day before. As he runs his fingers over them, he wonders if maybe he should have cut just a little too deep. The street is quiet and he feels like he's drowning in the silence, struggling to breath. Struggling to feel anything at all. He stands up quickly and for a moment, the world tilts and he stumbles. He runs back into the house and goes into the kitchen. In a holder, there are a row of sharp knives, and he thinks how easy it would be to pull one out and end everything. For months, every day has been miserable. People pick on him at school all the time, and sometimes he has to hide bruises. His parents both work and every now and then they both go away for a while, and it feels like they don't exist. Sometimes he feels like his own team doesn't even care. They act like they do, but it's not real, they're just putting on an act. The worst though is Tsukki. He loves Tsukki, in a very complex way that he hasn't quite figured out yet, but he's the most special person to Yamaguchi. And he pain he feels when he feels like Tsukki hates him, only stays his friend because it's convenient, it hurts so much. It makes him feel like his existence is pointless, even makes him feel invisible. Would anyone even miss him if he was gone, if he were to disappear. Surely they would be happy, that they wouldn't have to deal with him, wouldn't have to drag around his weight any longer.

He runs the cool metal blade of the knife along his thumb before pointing it at his heart. His eyes are wet and scratchy. Might as well get this over with.

A warm hand closes around Tadashi's hand on the knife. The sharp metal tip is redirected away from Tadashi's heart by the strangers hand. And Tadashi lets them. He doesn't even feel the tears on his face. His the warmth of that hand on his own as he feels himself collapse on the floor. He closes his eyes, and they don't open again until morning as he wills himself into unconsciousness.

(Sorry it's so short and took so long _)


	4. Chapter 4

Suga was crying. Daichi had his arms around him. Asahi looked like he was about to cry too. Kei certainly felt like crying.

Tadashi lay in bed, and Kei sat on the edge, his hand in the boy's dark green hair.

Walking into the kitchen to let Tadashi see the surprise everyone had put together for him, only to find that he was holding a knife to his chest, came as a horrible shock to everyone. Kei had ran and grabbed the knife from his best friends hands, and seen the tears streaming down the boy's face as he passed out on the floor.

This was supposed to be a party celebrating Tadashi's birth. But it had almost ended in the beloved boy's death. Not only that, but they had all seen the many marks all up and down Tadashi's forearms, both old and new, indicating he had been hurting himself.

Kei couldn't believe he had never noticed. Suddenly he felt guilty. Guilty for all the rude things he said to him, every insult or any time he ignored the boy, and for every time he had even let him down. Kei swore he would never treat Tadashi the way he had before. The terrible thing had opened his eyes to what an asshole he was being to his best friend who was only ever an angel. He swore to give him more attention, treat him more nicely, speak kindly to him, and cherish their time together.

Tadashi stirred beside him in bed, which immediately had Kei's full attention. The boy's chocolate brown eyes fluttered, then opened slowly. Without realizing, Kei had put his hands on either side of Tadashi's face. He blinked at Kei.

"You gave us quite a scare, idiot." Kei murmured, but there was only concern and affection in his tone. Tadashi's eyes began to look watery and his lip began to tremble.

"T-Tsukki, I- I don't- didn't want to-" he stuttered, looking close to crying. But Kei cut him off by wrapping his arms around the boy.

"I know. We all do. And we're all here for you." Kei's own eyes were beginning to water.

"I couldn't live without you so please- don't do that again, please." He whispered, only for Tadashi to hear.

"B-but I'm only a burden, surely you don't all actually like m-me..."

"That's not true, Yamaguchi!" Suga's voice called. He came and sat on the other side of Tadashi who had now come out of Kei's embrace, and took the freckled boy's hand.

"You're not a burden at all. We all love you! Actually... Daichi and I knew about what was going on with your depression. We figured it out on our own. We were actually going to surprise you last night, but..." He trailed off, because they knew what he was talking about.

"Surprise me with what?" Tadashi wasn't stuttering anymore, and looked less sad. Suga smiled and got up. He said something to Daichi, Noya and Tanaka and the picked up something and started to unroll it. It was a banner.

"WE LOVE YOU TADASHI!" It said in big black letters, and below that, in smaller letters: "you are not alone and we will always be here for you". Surrounded by the large text were everyone's signatures and a little personal note. Tadashi smiled hugely as the banner was rolled up again and handed to him. He felt like he was gonna cry again, but this time it would be happy tears. He clutched the fabric banner to his chest and just fell foreward onto Kei's chest, who just wrapped his arms around the boy.

Tadashi realized he was wrong. He was wrong about how he thought Kei viewed him. He was wrong about what people thought about him. He was wrong about himself. He realized Kei loved him, and he loved Kei. He was going to tell him, too. Just not yet. This didn't change the fact that he still had depression. He was still going to have bad days, horrible days, and getting better would be hard. But he knew with the help of his team, his family, and most of all Kei, he could do it. He could get better.


End file.
